Author's Note: Brad and I wrote this poem sort of sarcastically after our first away track meet where we lost by three points. We both do the high jump and were destroyed by two opponents who jumped much higher than anyone from our school. At first, as I said, we wrote this for no reason, simply to satire the strange style of my adopted poet, because his poems are normally very strange. After some revisions, it actually emulates William Carlos Williams' style pretty well, so I decided to post it. Also, note that we used some poetic license here, there really was no tragedy that occurred. *Brad also gets credit for this poem and it is posted with his permission*
As the bus rolled home
it hit a small child
shattering his little head
like the high jump
bar shattered our dreams:
How sad.
As the bus rolled home
it hit a small child
shattering his little head
like the high jump
bar shattered our dreams:
How sad.
As depressing as this is supposed to be, it's actually kind of funny and very sarcastic. I don't really know what else to say, except that maybe you should write more of these because you guys are seeming to be doing a good job at this. My favorite line is "How sad". It's a perfect sarcastic ending to your poem. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem and it's hard to put a finger on why. I think it's because of the strong sarcasm and the simplicity of it, but either way this poem is surprisingly good.
ReplyDeleteMatt,
ReplyDeleteI think it's cool how you write everything with that sarcastic tone of voice, because you are quite a sarcastic person. I like how you emulated your poet's style, it really shows you have a handle on it. Nice job!
Matt, this type of poem really fits your personality! I love how sarcastic it is and like Abby said, the last line is perfect for the ending. Good job!
ReplyDeleteMatt,I thought that this is something that you would write. I agree with everyone else, especially about how sarcastic it was. Overall I really liked it.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I laughed when I read this, the sarcastic tone is very funny. It fits both your and Brad's personality. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a nice and joyous poem. Although you may not be the best high jumper, you are a great writer.
ReplyDeleteThat poem made me laugh even though it was pretty harsh. But good job.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh. If I read this and didn't know who wrote it I would have definitely said you and Brad, so it definitely reflected your guys personalities. I loved this piece!
ReplyDeleteThis was kind of violent, but it made me laugh. I do like that you can add in your own personality with your writing. Good job!
ReplyDelete