Author's Note: This is my response to William Carlos Williams' Complete Destruction. I wrote sort of about the same thing: complete destruction.This was inspired by my grandma who is, kindly, a pack-rat. If you don't understand what I'm hinting at, you can watch the TV station A&E and there's normally about twelve hours of this show a day.
This is the poem by William Carlos Williams, listed above. Like most of his other poems, it's short, lacks a rhyme and is open-form. Also like most of his poem's, Williams uses words specifically to create the mood. Unlike his poem Asphodel, Williams here uses only simple words and to me that represents to simplicity of the event. He also uses minimalism, stripping the poem to the bare bones, leaving the reader to fill in the rest of the body. There is only one stanza break and it's in the middle of one of the sentences.
Below is my poem, a response to his.
Absolute Renewal
Because the previous poem was short, I wrote another but I was unsure of whether to post it or not as I didn't really like it. The poem is much less serious than the preceding one and it's about our right to eat a healthy breakfast even if nothing tragic has happened.
Peace on Earth - William Carlos Williams
The coffee is done!
Complete Destruction
It was an icy day.
We buried the cat,
then took her box
and set fire to it
in the back yard.
Those fleas that escaped
earth and fire
died by the cold
We buried the cat,
then took her box
and set fire to it
in the back yard.
Those fleas that escaped
earth and fire
died by the cold
This is the poem by William Carlos Williams, listed above. Like most of his other poems, it's short, lacks a rhyme and is open-form. Also like most of his poem's, Williams uses words specifically to create the mood. Unlike his poem Asphodel, Williams here uses only simple words and to me that represents to simplicity of the event. He also uses minimalism, stripping the poem to the bare bones, leaving the reader to fill in the rest of the body. There is only one stanza break and it's in the middle of one of the sentences.
Below is my poem, a response to his.
Absolute Renewal
It was a sunny day.
Grandma had died so
we cleaned her house
we cleaned her house
til we could see the walls:
white, so they say.
Those rats that evaded
trap and poison
Those rats that evaded
trap and poison
died by rabies.
Because the previous poem was short, I wrote another but I was unsure of whether to post it or not as I didn't really like it. The poem is much less serious than the preceding one and it's about our right to eat a healthy breakfast even if nothing tragic has happened.
Peace on Earth - William Carlos Williams
The Archer is wake!
The Swan is flying!
Gold against blue
An Arrow is lying.
There is hunting in heaven—
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
The Swan is flying!
Gold against blue
An Arrow is lying.
There is hunting in heaven—
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
The Bears are abroad!
The Eagle is screaming!
Gold against blue
Their eyes are gleaming!
Sleep!
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
The Sisters lie
With their arms intertwining;
Gold against blue
Their hair is shining!
The Serpent writhes!
Orion is listening!
Gold against blue
His sword is glistening!
Sleep!
There is hunting in heaven—
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
The Eagle is screaming!
Gold against blue
Their eyes are gleaming!
Sleep!
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
The Sisters lie
With their arms intertwining;
Gold against blue
Their hair is shining!
The Serpent writhes!
Orion is listening!
Gold against blue
His sword is glistening!
Sleep!
There is hunting in heaven—
Sleep safe till tomorrow.
My Emulation
The coffee is done!
The bacon is fried!
Funeral food
But no one has died.
And the coffin is empty -
Eat now and forever.
The eggs have been scrambled!
The toast has been toasted!
Funeral food
Though no deaths have been posted!
Eat!
Eat now and forever.
The French Toast grilled
And the pancakes made;
Funeral food
Where spoons replace spades!
Satan curses!
While the sun is gleaming!
Funeral food
Though life is still teeming!
Eat!
As the coffin is empty-
Eat now and forever.
It was a very good emulation and I could see your ironic humor in the poem. Only if you grandma was actually dead then you could clean her house. From what I've heard that would be quite difficult but quite interesting.
ReplyDeleteThis poem made me laugh do to the knowledge and stories you have passed on to me. This seems like a hard style to copy but you pulled it off nicely.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read that it was about your Grandma I started laughing because of the stories you told me and the map you made of her house. Anyway, I really like this poem. It has a quirky feel to it, but it also emulates your poet very well. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good poem it was a really good imitation of your poets. Like others have said this might have been a hard style of writing to pull off but you did a really good job!
ReplyDeleteI think you should post that other poem too just to see what kind of responses you get to it, because you never know... it could be amazing and even though you don't like it, you could learn to love it! But about this one, I don't know anything about your grandma or her house, but I think the way that you wrote this poem was so cool! Haha nice job:)
ReplyDeleteI agree that you should post the other poem also. This one is interesting, and I was totally with you until the part about the rats dying of rabies, which left me with no sense of any conclusion, or purpose.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed both of your emulations more than your authors poems. You did take in his ironic humor of writing, which you implemented in both poems of yours. The second poem made me rather hungry though. Great work, I enjoyed reading your poems.
ReplyDelete